Simplifying A Complex Process

Telling your child the truth about his adoption

On Behalf of | Nov 21, 2022 | Adoption

Like any other adoptive parent in Michigan, you love your child. And you only wish your child the best. But your kid will have to learn the truth about his adoption someday, so it is a good idea to be prepared.

Subjects that can be subtle in nature

Before you decide to tell your child the truth, you should consider the following matters:

  • It matters when you tell them the truth.
  • It is important to validate your child’s feelings.
  • Adoption is a form of loss.

It is better to act early. And according to experts, kids can work with the concept of adoption around the age of 4. Around this age, kids begin to understand the concept of time. Kids at this age can also be explained things in simpler terms. Naturally, your child will continue to ask more questions as he or she gets older. But it will not be a surprise.

Your child, like any other individual, has his own temperament. And like it was discussed before, it matters when you tell your child the truth. A teenager, for instance, could react with sadness or even with anger. Nonetheless, regardless of his reaction, validate his feelings. Tell your child that you understand; tell him that it is normal to feel confused.

You love your child, so you may even question why your child may be upset. But this is the time when feelings of rejection and despair can emerge. Your child may also grapple with feelings of loss as an adult. So word choice is important. So if you talk about his or her biological parents, do not refer to them as his real parents. Call them “birth parents.”

A difficult but necessary process

You already showed your love and compassion by adopting a child. But you may not have all the answers. This is why there are resources out there that can help you navigate this necessary process with grace.