When you adopt a child, you agree to raise them the same as you would a birth child. Many families do this with open arms, but they don’t realize that there are some unique challenges that come with this situation.
One of the challenges that come with adopting a child through a closed adoption that won’t happen with biological children or during open adoptions may occur if the adopted child decides they want to meet their birth family. This is often an emotional situation, so it must be handled carefully.
Prepare the child for every possibility
If your adopted child decides that they want to meet their birth family, you should be honest with them in an age-appropriate manner about what may happen. Find out the process for finding and contacting the birth family so you know what to tell the child.
Avoid promises you can’t keep
Because of the intense nature of this situation, you should ensure that you don’t make any promises that you can’t keep. For example, don’t claim that you’ll ensure they get to meet their birth parents unless you’ve already spoken to their birth parents and know the meeting will happen.
Address emotions as they come
Your adopted child may have a range of emotions through the process. There may be times when they need to slow down or speed up the process to meet their birth parents for various reasons. Discussing things with them each step of the way may help you to decide how you should proceed. In some cases, the adoption paperwork will dictate what’s possible. It may be best to consult with a legal representative to determine exactly what your rights and options are per your family’s unique circumstances.